im dammit bloody pissed off with dad now... he called ten minutes ago and im still URGGGGGH inside. apparently mom told him im late home every night and he was shouting at me.. what time you coming home? what is the meaning of this?

FUCK IM SLAVING AWAY. fuck im doing work. fuck your daughter's in a cca thats super busy right now so you can you FUCK give her some time? argh. i dont need this from him right now.. cant he just be busy with his own damn life. and mom, go to your friends outside. i dont tell on you when you go out with that guy right? FUCK IT LAH.

argh. and him. its not my fault i cant see him everyday... its not my fault i dont have as much time... its not my fault! what can i do about it huh? quit everything?? i cant... i dont want to... but at this rate we're going... and hes all sianzzz and stuff. i dont know... total opposites. telling me that he experienced all this before... and... i dont know if i have enough in me now to talk to him.

just, so, goddamit tired. why cant people just give me a break.. for now.. for today, and i'll be happy. lemme rest... after the captain's ball and all. shall blog about it some other time when i DO feel happier.

lets pray that it'll be soon.. or many more fuckedup entries like this will follow...