Beautiful Stranger

TP OH 0607

i missed the first mass dance! pretty much the day was bo-ring. my slut gary [g> headbanging= post fucked look =X] and himbo hakim wasn't there. all too soon, it was over. i'm glad our purple freshies/juniors came down! so so glad i was. just felt bad i was all over the place and couldn't spend time with them. crowd control for hady, screaming even though we were jonathan fans [HAHA] never-ending cheers, our TPSU [tipsu/program adapted] cheer... SU made it feel like one big family. (:

appreciation dinner at mensa. lisa made me laugh till my sides hurt.

me: [puts ear to lisa's stomach] how many months alr??

lisa: HAHA. CAN YOU HEAR MANGO PUDDING?

IT MAKES ME LAUGH EVEN NOW. AHHHAHA! that pig ate like, a lot. a lot, a lot. and i think she like stars, a lot. or maybe its just a coincidence. it better be ah MEL-lisa sutrano.

met up with cara and her friends, then went to bsc room. things- awkward still. im awfully grateful for joyce being there. the whole time. even during jam and hop when i was upset over things i heard about him, when i was concerned if she was actually concerned [hoho] and all the others. i doubt you'll see this, but thank you so much. it meant a lot to me(:

as for what happened, i could have dealt with it better, or with more maturity perhaps?

on both sides. male and female.

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emo entry warning.

im pretty upset with you sweet monster.

~~Beneath the rainbows... Raining in the sunset:D~~... i no longer see that.

to the monster, if you're ever reading this:

dont say you love me, then take it back.

dont say that you'll always be there, then run away when things are heating up.

don't get me too addicted to you. was it all just sweet-nothings.

you tell me you dont fall easily for just anyone. i dont know...maybe you're afraid.

i'm afraid too.

in fact, i never felt this way.

it was like, once i started returning the affection, you were too afraid... is that it?

honestly speaking, you're driving me nuts, and hell i don't like it. im in deeper than i like to admit, but i do hope for once, this ain't gonna play me out.

when i finally, really want to try for something, don't take it away from me. if you're serious about me, tell me. if not, then stop this, please.

and was it cos i was close to anyone? if so, tell me... i was stupid for doing that, im sorry:(

[kC] [Faith is the strength by which a shattered world shall emerge into the light] says:

smile before u sleep ! cause LY GONA ROCK THE WORLD !

Lets talk about what he's done to become your number one. says:

im always here alright?

kim, maybelle, ming,hakim, lisa... denise and joyce esp... thanks for being there when i was so messed up that night.
blogging's a relief for me. a vent, an outlet. hope this will be super therapeutic. and for the rest of those kay-poh auntiee friends who are so keen and concerned about my love life, thank you for being there for me(:

pretty much right now i'll just think i got my just desserts then.

i got what i deserved.

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Labels: bsc room, cara, emo, mango pudding, mass dance, messed up, monster, openhouse, retribution, running scared

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